In this edition, we explore what to do when mornings become overwhelming, how to talk to school about toileting needs, why the playground can feel so isolating, how to balance safety and independence for a teenager travelling home in the dark, and where to find accessible Bonfire Night events that do not trigger anxiety or sensory overload.
Q. Bonfire Night is coming up and last year was a disaster for us. My son screamed at the fireworks and could not cope. Are there any SEND-friendly alternatives?
You could also celebrate at home. Try glow sticks, a Bonfire Night-themed sensory box with coloured rice and torch lights, or light-up fibre-optic wands to bring the atmosphere without the noise or fire. Alternatively, watch a display on television with the sound turned down.
We also have a full Bonfire Night advice article coming soon to SEND EDventures, featuring sensory strategies and event ideas to help families enjoy the evening in a way that suits them.
Q. My teen has mild learning difficulties and needs support with safety awareness. Now he is coming home from school in the dark. How can we keep him safe while still giving him the independence he needs?
Practical tools can also build confidence. Reflective jackets, bag charms or wristbands improve visibility. A small keyring torch or clip-on light helps at crossings. Some families find wearable personal alarms reassuring. Simple check-ins can also help, such as a text on arrival or shared location through a family safety app.
If your teen wants to become more independent but needs support to get there, the Independent Travel Toolkit from Hertfordshire County Council is an excellent step-by-step guide for families. It includes safety planning templates, travel practice ideas and scripts for teaching road awareness.
You can use this toolkit yourself at home or share it with your child’s school as a starting point for a structured travel plan. It breaks skills into small, achievable steps, allowing independence to grow gradually and safely.
Q. Every morning starts with tears. School feels like a battle before we even leave the house. How can I make mornings easier?
A. Mornings can be a pressure point when anxiety builds before the day even begins. Try adding a short, calm start so your child isn't immediately rushed into stress. Gentle routines such as quiet music, sensory play, deep pressure hugs or even five minutes under a weighted blanket can set a steadier tone.
Visual timetables and “first, then” prompts can reduce uncertainty, and laying out clothes or breakfast choices the night before can help alleviate decision overload. Keep language simple and predictable and avoid extra requests during transitions.
If mornings continue to be distressing, consider discussing adjustments with the school. Some pupils benefit from a ten-minute flexible start to avoid noisy queues or a calm space on arrival. Ask if a transition plan could be added to your child’s support provisions. For advice, contact your local SENDIASS, which can be found via the Council for Disabled Children.
Q. Toileting is still a struggle for our daughter and her school does not seem to understand how much it affects her. What can I do?
A. Late toileting is more common than many schools realise and it can have a significant impact on emotional well-being, confidence and learning. It is reasonable to ask the school to support your daughter in a manner that respects her dignity and reduces her anxiety.
Request a meeting with her teacher or SENCo and ask for a toileting care plan to be added to her SEN support. This should include agreed-upon routines, privacy, who supports her, how accidents will be managed, and any equipment she requires. Keep records of what has been agreed and follow up in writing so everyone is clear.
ERIC, The Children’s Bowel and Bladder Charity, offers practical advice for families of children with additional needs, including information on toileting at school and guidance on working with educational settings to secure reasonable adjustments. They also provide downloadable guidance and factsheets that can help you prepare for discussions with the school.
If you feel unsure how to approach the school or need specific guidance, ERIC has a helpline for parents and carers where you can speak to a trained advisor for support and tailored advice.
Email hello@sendedventures.com or send us a message on Instagram @sendedventures. We offer supportive advice, practical resources and no judgement at all.
Disclaimer: The information in this article is provided for general interest and should not be considered medical, therapeutic or educational advice. Families are encouraged to seek support from qualified professionals regarding individual needs or concerns.