Ever found yourself asking your child, “How was your day?” only to be met with a shrug, a “fine,” or no response at all? For parents of children with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND), this universal parental dilemma can feel even more complex. Communication barriers, sensory overload, or struggles with expressing emotions can make unpicking your child’s day a bit of a mystery. But don’t worry, connecting with your child and opening the lines of communication is not only possible, but it can also become a treasured part of your routine.
Start with the Right Questions
Instead of the open-ended “How was school?”, try narrowing your focus with specific, simple prompts. Questions like, “What did you do during playtime?” or “What made you smile today?” can feel less overwhelming and provide your child with a clearer direction.
If your child uses non-verbal communication or assistive devices, adapt these prompts into visual supports or communication boards. Symbols, pictures, or even emojis can encourage them to share in a way that feels natural to them.
Create a Calm, Safe Space
After a long day, your child might need time to decompress before they’re ready to talk. Sensory sensitivities or social interactions during the day can leave them feeling drained. Let them unwind—whether that’s through quiet time, a favourite activity, or just sitting together in silence.
By respecting their need for space, you’re showing them that communication doesn’t need to feel like an interrogation. It’s a gesture of trust and patience that can make all the difference.
Observe Non-Verbal Cues
Communication isn’t just about words. Watch for body language, facial expressions, and behaviours that might give you clues about how your child is feeling. Are they fidgeting more than usual? Do they seem withdrawn or unusually energetic? These signals often hold the key to understanding their day.
If your child uses alternative communication methods, such as signing or technology, ensure these are always accessible at home. This not only encourages them to share but also reinforces that their voice matters.
Introduce a “Feelings Check-In”
Make it part of your daily routine to check in with their emotions. A simple ‘feelings board’ with faces representing different emotions can help children who struggle to articulate their feelings. For older children, journaling, whether written, typed or even doodled, can be a great outlet.
Encourage honesty by reassuring them that all feelings are valid, even the more complex or challenging ones. Let them know it’s okay to feel angry, sad, or overwhelmed, and that you’re there to support them through it.
Children with SEND tend to feel more secure when they know what to expect. Building regular opportunities for communication into everyday routines can help create a sense of calm and structure.
Share Your Own Day
Communication is a two-way street. By sharing snippets of your own day, including what you enjoyed and what you found challenging, you’re modelling how to reflect and express thoughts. Keep it simple and relatable: “I forgot my umbrella and got wet on the way home. I felt a bit grumpy, but then I put on dry clothes and felt cosy again.” This approach not only builds trust but also shows your child that it’s okay to talk about the ups and downs of daily life.
Use Creative Tools
Sometimes, traditional conversations can feel daunting. That’s where creativity comes in. Drawing, storytelling, or role-playing can give your child a different way to express themselves. For younger children, using toys or characters to act out their day can be particularly effective. For older children or teenagers, you may find success through shared activities such as baking, going for a walk, or even gaming together. These moments of connection often create a natural space for conversation to flow.
Build a Communication Routine
Children with SEND often thrive on routine, and incorporating communication into your daily rhythm can make it feel more predictable and safe. Whether it’s a chat over dinner, a debrief during bedtime, or even in the car ride home from school, having a regular time to connect sets the expectation that their voice is valued.
Work with Their Support Team
Finally, don’t hesitate to collaborate with teachers, therapists, or support workers. They can provide valuable insights into your child’s day and offer suggestions on how to reinforce communication at home. Simple tools, such as a home-school diary, can help bridge the gap between their world at school and life with you.
Understanding your child’s day isn’t always about the words they say—it’s about the connection you build and the ways you show that their experiences matter. It’s in the quiet moments of sitting together, the giggles shared over a silly story, or the look of relief when they know you “get it.”
Remember, every child communicates in their own way, and with patience, creativity, and a sprinkle of determination, you’ll find the rhythm that works for both of you. Because at the heart of it, what matters most is that they know you’re there, ready to listen—in whatever form that takes.
Disclaimer: The information in this article is provided for general interest and should not be considered medical, therapeutic or educational advice. Families are encouraged to seek support from qualified professionals regarding individual needs or concerns.
